I thought I should take this time in a sort of mid-way phase to write up a list of the Plenty of Fish guys and write a little description about each. Many people have been asking, "So how many are you dating?" I have been using the number of nine for some time now, which seems to have some people confused. Let me clarify by laying out the specimens before you:
Alexandre - He is the 26 year old guy I always introduce as the History student with particular interest in Antiquity and the Middle Ages: the historian, musician and writer. He is also the first guy I told about my illness and the only one who asked me for a supplementary picture of myself. Since I transferred him to my pseudonym e-mail, he has only been corresponding through MSN. Although we have common interests, I haven't had much of an opportunity to explore that since I have not been online at the same time as him very much. When we have talked, he has sounded very serious about dating and at first it was a bit intimidating for me. It makes me wonder if he would want to move more quickly than I would be comfortable with.
Amin (met) - He is the 29 year old student on exchange for his PhD and is also the guy I went to see the fireworks with. His messages are always pleasant to receive and they make me smile. We share so many of the same values, interests and ideas. He is very respectful and always makes me feel comfortable, which is quite the feat. I definitely like him and can certainly sustain a good friendship with him at the very least. The challenge with Amin is the cultural and religious differences, which could be enriching or could make it impossible to sustain a romantic relationship.
Dylan - He is the 24 year old Chemistry student I impressed when I correctly understood that Nanochemistry is related to Quantum Physics. Since I transferred him to my pseudonym e-mail, he has only sent me one message, about being under the wire for his thesis submission. I at the time had my fair share of school work to attend to, so I wrote him back saying that I could relate and to drop me a line after his big submission date. I haven't heard back...
Huiqi (met) - He is the 23 year old History student I have so often described as over-exuberant. His messages had sounded rather high-energy and perhaps a little too eager to please. In person, he was surprisingly calm and he read as very genuine. He withdrew himself from consideration because he was not comfortable with my meeting other guys. He discovered that the online dating formula was not for him, as evidenced by this sentiment! However, I have not withdrawn him from my consideration nor from my estimation.
Patrick (met) - He is the 27 year old kinesthesiologist. He hasn't corresponded a lot, but we do have a fair amount in common. A few of the things he's said, such as recounting his participation in his niece’s fourth birthday, lead me to believe he's a very loving person. I did enjoy meeting him and talking with him. He earned points when he spoke some English with me; it was very nice of him. His main disadvantage is the similarities he has to my ex. I would have to see just how much like him Patrick actually is.
Paul (met) - He is the law student of undetermined age. He certainly has some qualities and definitely showed an interest in me. However, for the reasons enumerated in my entry "Perplexing Paul", I would not go on a second date with him. As per his request (see "First Ultimatum"), I have not e-mailed him, since I am not looking to schedule him again.
Seb - He is the 23 year old who initially impressed me by opening with a linguistics discussion. I spoke to him a few times online, but I began to feel that our conversations were going nowhere. I think in a way his life is also going nowhere right now; he gives the impression of being at a standstill. I would prefer to date someone who at least has a goal in mind to work towards. Now when we are both online at the same time, we do not talk to each other. I figure this one just fizzled all on its own.
Sia (met) - He is the 27 year old PhD student I had a pleasant meeting with. He was nice and we had an enjoyable conversation. He was a sympathetic and attentive listener, a very important quality to possess. He, however, was eager for a second date. Anytime he e-mailed, he always referred to it. He always entreated me to let him know when I was available. So as soon as I got my school work back under control and had obliged Huiqi and Paul's requests for a first meeting, I offered Sia my next available spot. I wanted a second coffee date, because on that particular day, I did not have a lot of time and was certain to be tired after my morning exam. He wanted to go out for dinner, though, and be like a "real couple". Since he is direct and values honesty, I wrote him back and was completely open with him. I explained that I felt I did not know him sufficiently as of yet for us to be a couple and then explained the kind of date that I could manage that afternoon. He never replied, so I can only guess that was a deal-breaker for him.
Thomas (met) - He is a 26 year old student just back to University this fall. He has had some challenges, but is now pursuing his true passion. He says a lot of things that are familiar to me because our cultural background is so close. We share a few common interests, particularly all things Irish. Thomas also has his own rather specific taste in certain things, which I often don't share. He is particular, but he definitely knows what he likes and what he wants. We have chatted a lot on MSN, more than I have with anyone else. This is an advantage, because he has heard me in different moods and energy levels. However, I have misgivings as to whether our compatibility will extend beyond friendship. I will be posting an entry about our meeting as soon as I am able.
That is my list. I had selected ten to keep in touch with, but J, mentioned earlier in my blog, had already stopped messaging me on Plenty of Fish. He had not responded after I had told him that I did not cook very much, though the interest is there. I think that must've been a deal-breaker for him, given the high importance cooking and travelling had on his profile. I then went out with Brian to see if he would be the tenth, but he did not fill the bill. So that is how I came out with nine and why I have often quoted that number to anyone who asked. Recently, I have noticed how that number has been reducing itself gradually. Dylan and Seb can't have truly been in the running for awhile now. Paul was not compatible and eliminated himself after I met him. Sia did the same after I expressed that I felt we could not yet be a couple. Huiqi does not want to be considered unless everyone else is off the list. So theoretically, that leaves only four: Alexandre, Amin, Patrick and Thomas. That certainly sounds so very much more manageable!
Now, to close, I would just like to get all the fish puns out of my system once and for all! There may be Plenty of Fish in the sea, but there are truly not all that many that are actually good for you. If you go looking for plenty of fish, you will end up having to throw many of them back in the sea. I have thrown a few back and may indeed end up throwing them all back. However, one of my fish may be a catch. It is difficult to tell at the present time. One of them, I can say for certain, is definitely hooked, entirely unintentionally. I truly do not wish to leave him dangling, but I am uncertain whether or not I should reel him in. When fishing, one must always exercise caution: it is much more complicated than it looks!