Hopeful 6 Hopeless 4
This is something I found floating around my facebook homepage. It was posted to a friend's wall, but I am sure it has been circulating in cyberspace for awhile. I just thought it was worth sharing!
I have been thinking a lot about being single lately. Sometimes I feel a bit sad about being single, but lately I have realized how much it has become my norm over the past few years. Though it does have some drawbacks, being single has become familiar and somewhat comfortable. I knew the Plenty of Fish experiment would shake me out of my comfort zone, but sometimes I think I underestimated just how much. Those feelings I described at the beginning of my project about wanting to give up entirely have not gone away. I have been thinking a lot lately about not dating any of the Plenty of Fish guys. I wonder what it would be to actually be in a relationship. It has been so long for me that I can't even picture it. And just thinking about it makes me feel a bit warbly.
Being single is never a bad thing. I am thinking perhaps now is the not the time for me to be dating. My life is just starting to come together, what with the improvements in my health and my nearing the completion of my first university degree. I am just starting to have a little extra energy and am wondering where I should truly be investing it. Should I really be investing it in a romantic relationship? Sometimes I think I should be spending it building a better social life, seeing my friends more often. I don't want to be the kind of person who gets a boyfriend and then suddenly falls off the face of the earth, is completely unavailable to family and friends due to being conjoined at the hip with a guy. It is not in my nature to do such a thing, but I have to be careful, given that I don't have a lot of energy to go around in the first place.
This dating business has been causing me a fair amount of stress. It is difficult to try to be fair and nice and polite to all these guys. It is sometimes ridiculously difficult for me to try to fit them into my schedule and not make them wait an eternity to meet me. I am so afraid sometimes of hurting their feelings, I forget what the cost is to me. I was talking to Mom about some of my difficulties and apprehensions the other day and she gave me some good advice. She told me that I should really not be doing anything that is remotely unpleasant. My life is hard enough, she reminded me, most of the time. The rest of the time, I need to do things that make me happy, not that cause me undue grief or stress. She may indeed be right.
I had not intended for this post to turn into such a huge reflection! I had merely wanted to share this photo that I thought was funny and interesting. It is also true. It means that being single can be a very good thing and that you can be entirely happy being single, which I truly believe. It is also saying that you shouldn't just be in a relationship for the sake of being in one. It takes someone special. I didn't want it to sound like I am overly picky, so I didn't repost this picture myself on facebook. You do, however, have to choose with care and I do think that it will take someone very special to help me envision being in a romantic relationship.
Perhaps that someone is one of the Plenty of Fish guys. I'll have to see...